Letter #15

Dear @TheFray,

I've figured it out. I know why I love "I Can Barely Say" so much. For too many years of my life, I was such a people pleaser. I tried too hard to make others love me without giving too much thought about myself. I let that ruin a lot of myself. I gave only "good" parts of myself--the parts that pleased whoever I was around, never saying anything that could ever potentially offend a friend or family member. I got tired of that after a good round of a bad relationships, where I got some definite and tough experiences. "I Can Barely Say" just embodies my life story. Sometimes we have to give up the good intentions.

Whenever I connect to a song, I always wish that others could literally feel what I feel when I hear it, because my heart seizes, and tears overtake my vision, and I can't explain why I love so many songs at once. No one seems to realize what music does to my entire being, body and soul. The words or feelings or thoughts that get lost in my mind, because I've been to afraid to say or express what I need to, had been gone for so long that when they come back, they become ten times stronger, and I can't contain it. I lose control. I get lost in the melody. I'm overcome, and I can't hold it back any more.

I'm sitting here listening to "Be Still" and I cannot contain myself, right here bawling as I write these letters to you. I know they're not pointless because they mean something to me, even if they don't to anyone else.

I have scars and I have stories. I am doing all I can to be more than just existing. I want to do more than just survive or get by. I have scars because of my life battles, and I have stories about my battle scars. I know we all do. We are all human. We have feelings, we hurt, we gain heartache that no one but God and Jesus Christ understand fully but we also go on, leaving the heartaches and pains and losses behind.

I have two scars on my stomach from a laparoscopy. You see, I have endometriosis, a painful condition that if not treated just worsens over time, making it impossible to live pain-free. For months I had this chronic stabbing pain and had been hospitalized twice just because of it. I had gone to several doctors, who all couldn't tell me what the problem was. Finally I went to a nurse practitioner, and she took one look at me and my charts and said "you have endometriosis. Let's get you into surgery as soon as possible." Within two weeks, I had the surgery scheduled. This is just one of many scars+stories I have.

The best thing about scars is that although they don't go away, they are still healed. They are imperfect, but that's just more of a reminder of where we came from. Scars are there to remind us where we are headed.

Thank you for S+S, it means more to me than you will ever be able to comprehend (seeing as I cannot even comprehend how much it matters).

xoxo,
Erin

Letter #14

Dear @TheFray,

I will always be on the sidelines of your marathon.

Thank you for the wonderful gift you've given all of us. Music is the window to the soul.

xoxo,
Erin

Vlog: Mash-Up

Dear @TheFray,

Today I am sharing with you. This makes me so nervous, and I am praying no one judges me…but I love mash-ups, and I made this one up on the spot….
So here it is, "Save Me" by @NICKIMINAJ and "You Found Me" by @TheFray

xoxo, Erin

Letter #13

Merry Christmas!

This was one of the highlights of my Christmas this year. (See, I told you that y'all are always apart of my Christmases.)

Right this minute I'm listening to "The Fighter" from your new album…I wish it would come out sooner, but then again, February is kinda your thing, so I'll wait.

Thank you, as always, for continuing to write your music. It makes connections in my life, and it gives me something to look forward to, because I know you will always connect with this total stranger--me.

xoxo,
Erin

Letter #12

Dear @TheFray,

I'm starting to get requests from other people who are fans of your music. @adamtie wants "Think It Over" to be an official studio recorded song, and I'm requesting "Be The One." It's all your decision on what you finally do of course (I know I have no control and minuscule influence), but an LP like that along with cover songs you've done like "The Train Song" and your Beatles covers would be the coolest, and I bet your fans would buy it!

Anyway, I know that's kind of a massive request, and it probably wouldn't happen, but a girl can dream, right?

I don't really know how, but apparently my blog is starting to get people talking, and I like it! :)

Moving on to my real topic for the day…
Christmas time is never really my favorite, but I remember the year that my sister and I got tickets to your concert. We were so ecstatic to go to see you live! This year I asked for the pre-order for Scars and Stories…I don't know if I'm getting it (we shall see tomorrow) but it's funny how things as simple as wanting a cd for Christmas makes me think of all of the memories I have involve your music. Most of them are good, and a few of them are sad, but all-in-all your music reminds me of everything I've been blessed with, and makes me remember why I don't dislike Christmas anymore.

I hope you guys have a great Christmas, and hopefully a good rest from your busy schedule. I know you would want everyone to remember the true meaning of this holiday, being Christians. I myself remember the true meaning of this holiday, and I smile knowing that even though everyone says the true meaning is lost, it is really always there. It's never lost, but sometimes we are lost, so we can all turn to Christ to remember and be found in the true meaning of Christmas.

xoxo,
Erin

Letter #11

Dear @TheFray,

I just received the newsletter from your fansite. I read about how you played for a girl in her living room…how desperately I wanted to be that girl, just for that moment in time. I honestly felt like crying when I saw this news. I'm probably not the biggest fan you guys have, but I must say, I'm getting up there.

I never used to cry when I read about stuff you guys did, but now I do…I don't call it obsession. I just call it "fan love." Because I would classify myself as obsessed if I was literally following you guys everywhere you went, stalking and such. But I just quietly "follow" on Twitter and Facebook; just another pair of eyes in the crowd, another voice heard for but a small moment in time when you replied to my tweet and read my blog post--which I have been forever grateful for, by the way.

Sometimes I still wish I could meet you guys, though, because that would be more than a dream come true. I know I've talked about this before, but I can't help it. You guys are still my heroes, fulfilling your dreams and fulfilling the dreams of fans everywhere as you progress in your career and life. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but again, it can't be helped; I'm continually inspired and I just want to be better at what I'm doing in life so that I too can unify others and do my part to bring the world together. I figure one of the ways I do so is by having this blog. A few of your Twitter followers have contacted me since our little engagement of conversation, and even though I've never met them in person either, I still feel connected.

I just think it's kinda neat how we can all connect each other through simple things like similar interests and acquaintances, how we can become unified through similar beliefs even if we have different perspectives and views of the world. Thank you, for being such a large part of that connection and unification.

We, your fans, owe you. That's why we give back every day by our blog posts and tweets and cover songs; our copies of every version of "How To Save A Life" (I think I have about three); and just the simple times we smile as we turn on your music.

xoxo,
Erin

Letter #10

Dear @TheFray,

Today will be my day to ask you questions about music.

Where do you get all of your inspiration in writing? Do you spend hours/days/weeks on one song? Do you make a melody first, then add lyrics, or does it kind of come around both ways?

I would like to know some tips for music writing, because I feel so inspired to write music (partially because this poor 21-year-old that I am has no job and just finished school…so I have LOADS of time), and I play guitar and sing. I like doing covers, I think it's cool, but I want to write my own songs. I have one song that I wrote one day when I was bored, and maybe I'll show it to you. I'll have to become a little more self-confident first, and admittedly it's really very short; but I kinda think it's cute….anyway…

If you could tell me some tips for writing, that would be pretty neat.

As always, xoxo,
Erin